Mexican Journey and Toad Testimonials. 2nd sep
Time and space dissolve
I am witness to the great mystery unfolding inside
The pain and suffering of humanity screams through the thin veil
My shoulders feel the weight of our collective separation with source
I am holding this for everyone
The Sun enters me, filling me, guiding me, feeding me.
Stay with it, Stay present, feel, breath, allow, transcend.
Too much, I buckle, come on this is for everyone.
Stand tall, stand strong, send roots deep into the Earth, I feel her strength.
Anchor, deep, hold on, the Ancestors with me giving me support, strength.
Can I do this, I must.
I sink my spear into the Earth, screaming, the pain releasing.
I let go, surrender and hold on.
I am the Earth
The trees, the rivers, the whales, all living creatures,
On behalf of humanity I ask for forgiveness.
I understand for the first time Jesus on the cross
Finally I sink into Pachamama
Gracias Gracias Gracias.
I knew i was heading for some deep initiations in Mexico making my doco about the strongest entheogen know to man yet i could not imagine how far down the rabbit hole I was able to go and come back. On the second night after arriving in the northern Sonora desert of Mexico I found myself on Tohono indian lands with a medicine man working with power plants and the venom/sacrament from the Sonoran desert Toad. We started the night searching for toads and then when we found a few and then squeezed their glands to release the God molecule from the shamanic toad. It was great meeting and connecting with the toads, extracting the medicine then smoking the sacrament.
2nd Night in Mexico. Intensive Training. Thrown in the Deep End.
Pipe 1: Releasing.
The fire had burnt low by the time it was finally time to light up. It was around midnight. For privacy I will just call him, the medicine man. The medicine man lit the pipe with the toad sacrament in it and passed it to me and told me to keep inhaling. It takes about 15-20 seconds to hit so you may still be toking when it starts to come on. I could feel the light pulsing through my veins, filling me with light and that now familiar feeling of connecting to source. The person, the I who was there now 30 second ago was gone and in its place a timeless formless being that was able to experience past lives and personal and group traumas. The medicine man held me and started to chant. I could feel blockages wanting to release and as i started to growl and spit his hand held the back of my head leaning me forward and the other pushing up from below my stomach. I could feel a blockage connected to a past relationship. I let go and began to purge. The purge was in technicolour as old patterning that didn’t serve me fought to make their way out, now the Toad had opened the door. Deeper and deeper the purge went to include not just my karma that was releasing but that of many. My friend Rodrigo who was also slated for this deep initiation work started to play his clay flute. It felt like a divine connection all coming together at this point. No accidents all perfect. The medicine man looked me in the eyes calling me back piercing right through me, through lifetimes. This was a serious coming home moment. Toad enable me and us to break through usual levels of communication and through the eyes travel and acknowledge each other through lifetimes. Rodrigo synchronised with my purges as if we were having a connected experience in this strange formless dimension. Back to standing up, arms up facing the rising moon and the stars and connecting with the entire cosmos and all life.
Pipe 2: Let go
A second pipe was loaded and before feelings had diminished completely I was thrown back into this powerful and confronting dimension. Again huge blockages buried deep. The medicine man could somehow see or feel the block and worked with me again to help me open the channels of release. He could feel me holding onto the suffering on the planet caused by man. Encouraging me to purge it out as a way of letting it go and releasing me from the effects that energy pattern i had on me.
Pipe 3: Connection.
Third pipe. I was filled with a deep feeling of connection to the cosmic energies reaching down to humanity. Also feeling deeply connected to other humans, heart to heart.
Pipe 4: Fear
The medicine man told me we are going deeper and I had to inhale the whole amount. I could feel my fear and resistance to completely let go into the light.. As i kept inhaling the familiar wave started to wash over me. 20 25 30 seconds knees starting to go, blue light shining, fuck, how far down this rabbit hole am i prepared to go, pulling back i could feel my resistance. I flew, then eventually legs going completely I collapse gently onto the dry earth. More purging aware of my support.
Pipe 5: Surrender.
No escape, my resistance was obvious to the medicine man. Your going to take the lot this time. He said do you trust me? I had to say yes as i felt this initiation and everything that lead me here was designed by great spirit. Yes, I said, as he loaded up a big pipe. He held and lit the pipe. pointed the end to my mouth. Take it all in he repeated. Fuck no escape this time. I surrendered and took a huge draw and passed it to Rodrigo. The medicine man held my shoulder looking me straight through my eyes. I felt Ancient indigenous connections. Guided and held, i felt safe and prepared to surrender completely to myself and this powerful energy pulsing through me.
Pipe 6 Relax
A light blue glow appeared in the eastern sky. We were approaching sunrise. We have been doing Toad medicine now for about 4 hours. I faced the glow stars and trees. Feeling the stars shinning down on me like they we saying hi to me. As a reward, i felt, for my last huge dose and let go, I was told i could do what i wanted this time, lay down, stand up, stamp my feet, closed my eyes. I chose to lie down, exhausted from my previous upright intense journeys. I also closed my eyes and relaxed into not having to focus on a reality that was difficult to comprehend. Just as i moved into feeling complete i sat up and a coyote pack howled in the distance. The timing was perfect as i felt them acknowledging me being present with the elements. Another coyote howled only 50 meters away, checking who was camping and flying in their wilderness wonderland.
The medicine man said ok if you are going to use the medicine you need to know how to hold space for another that is journeying with the Toad. I didn’t have any intention of being a practitioner for others yet this seemed to be apart of the initiation i was going through so i just continued to surrender to the fluid process unfolding around and inside me. It was Rodrigo’s turn for his intensive. In Toad reality, Rodrigo had somehow managed to translate much of what the medicine man was instructing me that i didn’t understand with my limited Spanish. It was now his turn to let go and surrender to the medicine.
Pipe 7 Holding space.
We moved into the shade of the small shack. Rodrigo took a big toke on the sacrament passed the pipe to me. I took a much smaller dose and passed it on. Rodrigo started to sway. Without touching him i held my hands out front and back incase he collapse backward or forwards. Soon his legs buckled and he dropped to his knees. I felt into his energy and felt to help move some energy that was sitting in his lower back. I grabbed the nearby eagle feather and swished it along his spine. I wasn’t confident that I was aware of all the strong energies present at that time or if I knew exactly what to do. At this point the medicine man moved in and kneeled in front of him giving strong eye contact. I could see Rodrigo was in deep. His skin colour changed, he began growling and spitting, his eyes were wide open. The medicine man shouted at him, You don’t fool me, come back and slapped him on the face. At this point I feel his testimony is best coming from him. All I want to say here is i felt out of my depth as a practitioner or even someone holding space. What was happening here was an exorcism and I am not trained to deal with that.
Pipe 8 Feeling the Earth
We all faced the mountains and took a medium dose each. Time to just tune into the earth , the mountains , the cactus, the sun, the Bufo’s. Energy flowed from the feet into the earth, the distance between the mountains and us seemed to not exist, I could feel the energy of the cactus and trees and dissolved into the reality they were in. The Toad space seems to reveal a reality beyond time and space, a shamanic reality that is nearly impossible to describe.
Pipe 9, Blurring
I had moved into overload a while back hoping that the pipe i had just had was my last yet the medicine man kept pushing me to break through something and kept asking me do I trust him, which I alway agreed. Yet now I was well beyond my reserves and when he would say ok another pipe I thought o fuck how much more of this can i take. After or even during the sessions he would ask OK what happened in all the sessions and i had to remember key events from all the previous sessions and repeat them, rapido. He said I had to say present with what was happening not just drift off. Most session were done standing up, with the medicine man working energies in my body.
Pipe 10 Last pipe
I had told the medicine man I was planning to go to the Mayan ruins for an Ecquanox event. He had received information while on his own vision quest with the toad that the mayans had visited this area to trade toad medicine and wanted me to see that vision. So he said Ok face those trees in the valley over there and tell me what you see. In total surrender I toked again on the pipe hoping/trusting I would see what i needed to see and this gruelling season with the toad could end. I dropped in, aware not to try to see anything, just allow. The trees came to life and swirled and melted in the now risen hot sun. Relax, allow, drop in became my mantra. Toad seems to give the participant the opportunity to time travel yet this time the portals did not reveal the secrets of the past. While still flying the medicine man asked expectantly, what did you see. I knew i had not seen what he wanted me to see and i was worried he would say ok another pipe. I complained slightly saying I feel like Carlos Castaneda getting his arse kicked by Don Juan. Its been over 40 years since I read his books yet that feeling and memory of getting your arse well and truly kicked by a Shaman was still fresh in my mind as if reading the book yesterday. I was delirious, barely able to walk or stand up. I just staggered into the hut and collapsed on the bed hoping he would forget about me. I was fucked. He stuck his head in to check if i was still alive, I opened one eye. He said another pipe. I wasn’t sure if he was serious or just playing with me. I said your kidding right. He laughed. He left me there to reformulate my body back into its human structure. I survived. I knew I had more hard work to do with this medicine yet I had gone beyond the beyond on the edge of what my body and spirit was able to handle. Thankfully that was all for the day and I arranged to return and just the two of us go further into the mountains where he had some land and continue the inner work with El Sapo.
I knew i was heading for some deep initiations in Mexico making my doco about the strongest entheogen know to man yet i could not imagine how far down the rabbit hole I was able to go.
Toad Testimonial, Seri Territory, 29 August, written 3 hours after.
To the island or the cave? Cave wins. I drive out of the Seri village with Raymondo along a huge ancient mountain then through a cactus covered valley. We walk up a dry creek bed till we reach a huge cactus maybe 30 feet high next to a strange rock formation. Two huge slabs at 45 % touching at the top to make a cave. Inside the cave there was what appears to be a man made alter out of rock to lie down on. I finished flying my drone and setting up two cameras for the Toad doco just as he lit the pipe. I had one short chance to take a breath, centre then receive the pipe from Raymondo. Raymondo was sitting at the entrance of the cave and took what was left in the pipe. 30 second in and the vision of him dissolved into pixilations. It was a good dose and the world i once knew quickly faded into the distance. I felt the timelessness of the environment and a connections to the ancients. Some how i acknowledged the power and wonder of the medicine plants and their use amongst the their people to connect them with their ancestors and nature. Toad i felt was at the top of the list of all entheogens for working in the no time realm. I felt the cave was like a rocket ship or a time machine that with the toad could launch one into a separate reality. This reality however felt real and connected to the life force of the planet and possibly the universe. I was overcome with grace and gratitude for being allowed to experience such a profound opening. While traveling at light speed I could hear Raymondo chanting his ancient chants. It was like being massaged or bathed with light and sound from the ancestors.
At some point I felt called to crawl out of the cave and embrace this new world. It was like being reborn. My legs could barely hold me as i held onto the rock cave entrance to stand up. I screamed and cried into the nearly dark sky. I could feel the separation of humanity from this source yet surrendered into what is, rather than letting the anguish of humanities separation take me to a despairing space. Instead I held out my arms to the brightening stars and simply surrendered and embraced. Full of gratitude for my life and my connection to this medicine that allows me to feel so connected with all life through time. Raymondo chanted, laughed and danced which also helped me to choose the lighter side of life. I joined him with a chant i had heard from Octavio from my very first session 18 months before which had been taught to him by Raymond’s Uncle. The chant seemed to just flow out of me and melted into the after glow of the medicine. It was nearly dark and we still had to descend the rocky creek back to the car. I quickly grabbed my cameras that felt so alien and scampered over the rocks, dodged some cacti and collapsed next to the car in near complete darkness. Feelings such deep gratitude I couldn’t bring myself to see or talk with others waiting by the car. I had to walk up the track and put my crown to the Earth and soak up this beautiful connection some more.
Testimonial with Seri 2. Written next morning
Yesterday I did and interview with Seri Shaman and Elder Don Pancho on the beach in his community before setting off the Shark Island, the largest island in Mexico which is the traditional land of the Seri.
I arrived at the infamous beach Id seen in Rak and Leanardos Documentaries about Octavio, the Toad and the Seri. There was the alter and the large ring of shells. I felt this was the launching pad. I could feel the portals had been opened here before and could feel my friends who had journeyed down this path here before me.
I stood in the circle and shook off the day and preyed to Sapo the ancestors, Pacha Mamma, the Sun and let go to the journey. Raymundo loaded the pipe and applied heat that transformed into a lot of smoke.
I started to wobble and spread my legs attempting to hold the energy. It was to much, I collapsed. More than ever before I felt the ancestors with me, not as a thought or even a feeling they were there, welcoming me back to this strange dimension that few visit. I could hear their chants and feel them through time, there was no time, or space. There was a huge welcome like they were all looking at me some laughing and all happy. They where connected in this dimension through all time. The Mayans, Tohono, Yakis the ancient Seri, the Tibetans, Australian Aborigines, all there like guardians of the Earth hidden in this other dimension. Iridescent purple light. Faces leaning over me smiling welcoming chanting happy. Before I had preyed to the Ancestors but now I have seen them and know them, I now know that they are listening. They are happy I have come to visit them in their world.
I heard Raymondo chanting through the dimensions and eventually opened my eyes and saw his face chanting and smiling at me. This felt like a full initiation into this dimension. Each journey deeper and deeper. A ritual where you get knocked out of your body where there is no I into the world of the gatekeepers of the light. To reemerge as if reborn into a knew awareness of the existence in the other worlds. I felt the whales in this new world and knew that with the help of the Toad to bridge the worlds, communicating with them would be easy. Same with the other animals and trees, rivers, todo.
I saw Raymundo again and felt to stand up and anchor this energy and the experience i had just had into the Earth and my reality here. Standing with a body was a struggle. I climbed up Raymondo body to look him in the eye. He kept chanting the gateway songs. We were communicating soul to soul with a recognition we had both done the hard work. It was like i was now initiated into this medicine with what has been a secret well guarded ritual. We are now brothers through time. Why this ritual is coming out now is my mission to discover and the theme of my doco. Raymondo handed me his rattle to shake to ground and connect me. I felt deep gratitude for the experience and to meet the ancestors.
Almost dark we motored back to the mainland. I was unable to drive as the energy was still to strong in me so another person drove me back to the hotel where i collapsed. The energy stayed with me for hours and I can still feel it today. I trust it is always there.
Testimonial 4 Seri, Written next day 1st Sep
A Mexican working with the Toad medicine came to visit Raymond. The night started with a Temoskal or sweat lodge. Two rounds with intense drumming and prayer helped prepare me for my third Toad session in Seri territory. I invited him to assist Raymundo with holding space and working with any energies they may present themselves. No one else was smoking this time, it was just me.
After the session the day before, where I had felt welcomed into this timeless world I felt i wanted to go back and see what else they wanted to share with me. It was a bit like meeting aliens yet i felt they were the guardians of the light or the gatekeepers here for Earth.
I took in a large pipe while standing and very soon collapsed on to the soft sandy beach. I was aware of the gate keepers yet they weren’t as in my face as the day before. This felt more like a cleansing of my blockages on many levels that was necessary so the new energys that are waiting to come to earth can manifest. I know this sounds like Im tripping but im going to write it anyway. I felt/feel that people are being cleansed atm to be a bridge for new cosmic anergy to express itself on Earth. It cant come unless its invited and there is the clear conduit for this energy to travel. Toad opens one to this energy and with the right guidance/chants/ support /energy work timeless blockages and Karma are able to be released. I tuned in deeply with Jesus Christ and felt that this is the same thing that he did on the cross. All I did was purge and grown and surrender. Jesus made to ultimate surrender and gave his life and in doing so allowed new energies to come to earth and a massive shift in consciousness to occur. I feel the state Jesus was in or had access to was the same state you go to with Toad after you have been initiated into these then secret mystery rituals.
Without trying to sound egoic I feel many who are working with the toad now have been and are being initiated into this deep level of awareness and connection with the source or god consciousness. We are being asked to cleanse and purge ourselves to allow a deeper connection to this force and this light to flow through us and onto the Earth plane. Source knows who to call on and there are no coincidences. I had to laugh at one point feeling being a filmmaker and social activist, how I had been picked by the gatekeepers to participate, be initiated, film, spread the message to the right people and work to help preserve the toad.
The journey on the beach in Earth time lasted well over an hour. I collapsed and then dragged myself to an upright position at least 4 or 5 times. I was asked to surrender deeper than i thought possible to this energy pulsing through me. Often I would get to a point of tears as i completely let go of any human resistance to surrendering to this energy. Arms up and out opening to the stars, chest and heart open I was exploding with surrender. This was when Jesus energy came through strong. I felt I even connected to his personal energy. Trust and surrender. Energy pulsed through my body like it was attacking the blockages. Raymundo and my Mexican friend were there to assist with moving the energy. Chanting, feather work, breathing, moving my arms around all helped. Just when I thought it was all over another wave would come and I just kept surrendering. At some points I was aware of the camera filming yet I was able to remove myself from it and just allow the process to unfold without any mind or ego getting in the way.
Sensing that others present where keen to go, I staggered to the car and a friend who was part of a Toad venom collecting team said he would drive me back to the Hotel. This proved to be a very good idea. I had just bought a cd of some Seri chants and was listening to them in the car which was making my landing a little gentler, when the car started to slow down and I looked up. Still with the medicine I saw a fire on the road and two men with guns approaching. They got my attention. Fortunately my driver and toad venom collector knew these guys and explanations and pleasantries where exchange. You want some cigarettes I heard my driver say. We were waved on. I asked what if it was just me in the car. I would have been robbed for sure he said. All my camera equipment, my computer, drone, all the footage, gone and if i resisted I may have been shot.
As i continued along the road listening to the Seri chants again I though what an incredible contrast I have just witnessed. God consciousness to potential murderers within minutes. There is a lot of work to do on this Earth plane, I thought.
Mexico Story continued, 5th Sep, Testimonial 6,
Toads and Ancestors.
Im Flying at around 35,000 ft, I mean literally. On my way to Mexico City after being around Hermosillo which has been my launch pad deep into this mysterious 5 Meo DMT Toad reality. Ive been moving so fast and deep I havent been able to do my usual next day trip report. So Ive got some catching up to do.
The 3 days at Seri Territirio I felt were some of the most amazing 3 days of my life, well it just keeps getting more amazing. Ive been getting serious 40 year ago flashbacks to reading Carlos Castineda books as a teenager. This time though the medicine man I have been visiting is Tohono from a large group of native americans that span the USA and Mexican regions and across a large part of the Sonora Desert, where most the Toads live.
I arrived at the medicine mans house in the late afternoon and immediately where planning activities over my planned days there. We packed the hire car and headed for his ranch which was really just a simple concrete hut with 2 small rooms that were always to hot to go in. I said I didn’t want lots of journeys like last time ( I lost count at 10) I just wanted to do 2 or 3 muy fuete (very strong) journeys. He nodded. Some of his friend who I went Toading with before arrived in a pick up and jumped out with smiles on their faces and some Toads for me in a bucket. I thanked them and said I would meet the Mayan ancestors with this. I felt very fortunate to be able to meet and communicate with these Toads before I milked them. I let them know how much I loved and appreciated them. Sometimes they would struggle when I picked them up, then I would hold them softly, thank them sincerely, touch their forehead to mine then pass on my love telepathically. They seemed to calmed right down and I even felt them open to give their medicine freely to me. They knew what was happening and the gift they were giving to me. They were already in ceremony. Even as I squeezed their gland full of this most scared sacrament I could feel them drop into the process and give freely. It felt like it released more sacrament than when I did it the first time. I thought of a happy cow giving more milk rather than a mistreated one. After each milking I released them immediately into a large pond. I could feel they were not traumatised and happy to be treated with the respect they deserve. (I’m not sure all collectors treat them like this) While sitting around waiting for the right time of night to do the ceremony a Toad hopped out of the pond and came closer to me. I though this to be a message to connect deeper in the physical before i went on my mythical Toad journey so I gently grabbed him and went for a little walk into the desert night. Id recently done an Animal Communication workshop with Anna Breytenbach and I practiced some techniques she taught to get out of my head. Almost immediately I got this message that the garlic I had on my hands while rubbing it all over my legs to keep the rattle snakes and scorpions away was burning its sensitive amphibian skin. I was a bit shocked by this sudden and direct communication. I jumped up and apologised profusely to the toad. I walked straight back to the pond and threw him in. Wow this telepathy thing really works I thought as I sat down by the small fire.
Soon the Tohono Medicine man grabbed his medicine pouch and I could feel it was time. As is his tradition he had a pipe by himself first. He says its to open the sky to the cosmos. His chants filled the air as I felt the work he was doing in this nearby yet infinite reality. Soon it was my turn. We moved closer to the hut as he said he saw a scorpion near the fire and it was safer here. I wasn’t about to challenge him on that. He loaded a big pipe and said your going to journey deep with this one. I took a deep breath and nodded. Its hard to explain this feeling knowing that imminently you are about to get projected at the speed of light into the heart of God. I have decided not to let fear be apart of my life or control my actions so I just said OK. I did my usually thank you preyers to the Ancestors, the Creator, my Guides, the Toads, Pacha Mamma, all the animals and the waters. Our eyes met and I gave a little nod. The familiar crackling of the heating Toad venom turning to smoke told me it was time to inhale. I knew now it was only seconds to lift off. I inhaled the hot smoke slowly and after 15 seconds could feel the effects tingling inside on me. I wanted to go deep so I keep inhaling even as I could feel myself starting to dematerialise from this world. Soon I was gone, propelled into this mysterious dimension were Ancestors and Gatekeepers abide. I collapsed to all fours, spitting and groaning. I was there, where ever there, was. One of my intentions with this journey was to connect to the ancient Mayas and feel if they had used Toad medicine in the past and this was a key to their incredible knowledge of the stars and mapping of time that is so different to ours, so when I felt their welcome as I entered this dimension it all felt completely right. I felt the Tohono and the Mayan and many ancestors from around the world, like the Tibetans and Australian Aboriginals present in this strange reality. On a soul level I seemed to connect with all of them. The normal constrains of physics did not apply here, time seemed irrelevant like we were beyond that, like astronauts floating free from the rules of gravity. Nothing was bound by anything. Eventually comes a moment about 5- 7 minutes in where you start to return to this Earthly plane with an Earthly body. At this point you can go into like shock that you have a body and you are bound by laws. I started deep breathing as a way to help my mind and body adapt to its changing reality. I remember seeing the medicine man standing over me flicking his feathers from my chest to the sky doing what felt like an ancient ritual bringing my soul back into this body. This feels like a deep initiation into this dimension done with a guide who has this ritual in his blood and is somehow familiar with the terrain and the navigation process. I felt immense gratitude to be given the opportunity to experience this ritual in this manner and on reflection felt for others who haven’t had this grace and may have just been offered it without a proper guide or someone unfamiliar with this dimension.
I was guided back to this reality like a plane on auto pilot to land. Then asked to return and ground. I was stunned to say the least. One is never the same after a deep immersion into Toad like that.
Testimonial 7, The Whales
We sat around the fire while I recalled my journey and prepared for the next. This time we moved closer to the fire and searched the ground for scorpions. He placed 5 feathers in a pentagon shape and I laid my blanket in the middle. This one I was going to start sitting and be ready to just lay back. He loaded another big pipe. As I knew I didn’t need to pace myself I just surrendered to another big dose. The stars departed and I laid straight down. No matter how may times you have Toad that moment when your world dissolves in front of you in a matter of seconds is always astounding. Warp speed.
While floating bodiless in no where land I had flashbacks of a familiar energy from a divine experience I had with some Humpback whales 3 years earlier. I was drifting on my inflatable zodiac one star cover night in Hervey Bay, in Australia. I was listening to live whale songs from the hydrophone with a friend and we were playing didgeridoo back to the whales. I felt their songs energising and balancing the waters. I also felt their songs where frequencies that the earth needed at this time and their songs where being channeled from the stars, the same stars and space I was now flying through without a body. I felt the whales energy in this space of no body, no ego and direct connection to Source. I felt their huge heart full of unconditional love, the same as Source energy. I felt a connection between the Whales and this Toad frequency. Are they also the gate keepers, the bridge between Earth/Ocean and the Creator? I started to land feeling I wanted to smoke Toad floating on the water with the Whales listening to their song.
I was feathered back into my body with lots of deep breathing and a real feeling of being completely exhausted. Like Id just run an olympic marathon. Reflecting on the experience around the fire I new then, that the title of the doco was going to change to “The Toad The Whale and The Sun”
Testimonial 8 and 9, The Shaman School.
The Medicine man told me he was going to take me to the school of Shamans. I just said great, not knowing what to expect. This is where the Shamans have been trained and their paintings or etchings are on the rocks. We drove out along a dirt track with huge cactus covering the landscape and arrived just before sunset. I was looking around for the school. We got out of the car and started climbing up some large boulders that had ancient designs and drawings of men and animals on them. This is the Shaman school and you can sleep here tonight by yourself if you want. I felt a bit like a goose as I thought it was a regular school and I was going to interview the Shaman. It only took me a split second to make up my mind that yes I wanted to sleep in this Shaman school and receive whatever teaching this special school had to offer me. He questioned me and said are you sure, there maybe scorpions, rattlesnakes, coyotes and mountain lions. I have never let fear control me and i was not about to start now and miss out on this experience. Anyway we have some garlic I can rub on to warn them off. Opps we left it at the other cabin. O well, Ill just trust and draw a big circle in the sand and let them all know that this is my boundary, that Im not food, I dont want to hurt them and I see them as friends.
The sun was setting as the Medicine man lit up his pipe with the Toad sacrament inside. He staggered a bit then started his familiar chant to the Ancestors, clear the space and open the portal. After he landed he loaded a pipe for me. I said my prayers to the Ancestors of this land, the Toad and the dimension I was about to enter and took a big inhalation. I stayed standing as I flew thought the timeless portal and felt the ancestors of the land. I could feel some of their pain and suffering that had happened for their people over time. The wars, the dispossession, their anguish. As I breathed deeply into that reality a chant seemed to appear that I just allowed to come out. I allowed that space to just exist without ego or judgement, just surrender. I strong dust storm had sprung up and I faced the direction of the 37 degree wind with my arms stretched upwards to embrace it and all the elements. I was reminded by the Medicine man to acknowledge the elements, Air, Fire, Water, and Earth and the fifth one, me. I breathed deeply into all the elements that were magnified in their presence thanks to the Toad. Eventually I grounded enough to walk to the car to get my stuff.
The Medicine man said he would pick me up in the morning and if there were any problem I could just call him. He left me with his medicine pouch with the pipe and lighter. I grabbed some food and water and my gear and he waved goodbye.
The sun was setting so I took advantage of the light to shoot some of the amazing rock engravings and tune into this sacred powerful place. I move all my stuff into the centre of my large circle Id scratched into the sand and checked how much power was on the phone. Great, it was flat. Ok, total surrender, time to walk your talk.
Eventually I felt it was time to visit the dimension of the Ancestors. I felt I didn’t have far to go, my body was already there. As I was getting the pipe ready, setting up the video camera and testing the night light, I heard some coyotes howling not very far away and then another in the other direction. Hmm Ill just wait a bit and maybe they will walk away. About an hour later I got myself ready again. This is going to be a strong initiation I thought, in the middle of the desert, by myself, surrounded by all sorts of deadly things, about to be propelled into the most profound dimension unimaginable. I laughed to myself, well you love adventure, will you ever be able to top this.
I loaded up a big pipe and did my prayers. I got my blanket ready as I knew Id be flat soon after smoking the magic potion. Boom I was flying. I could feel what I call the Ancestor in this strange dimension yet there seemed to be a distinction between the Ancestors that are also the Gatekeepers to the light and the Ancestors that are from this land. Even though they seem to inhabit this strange reality there seemed to be a difference in energy between them. The Mayans also seemed alongside the local Indigenous mob yet also felt different from the Gatekeepers. I felt into this connection with the tribes of Mexico and embrace the gift I was given to be with and feel them on this land in this dimension.
I started to return from this “separate reality” and noticed my camera on and pointing at me. Still a long way from home I was aware of the I that was my ego that made the various personality that was Dean. I felt that the other aspect of me, the universal limitless me, wanted to be friends with this ego, the Dean, that I had discovered upon re-entry. I remember barely grunting out the word, amigo, as my universal self attempted to make friends with my ego and suggest there didn’t need to be a battle between the two any more. Amigo, I said over and over as “I” saw the two different I’s. Then something quite hilarious happened. As my being and the two I’s started to become one again and I was able to string more than a grunt together I mumble, ego is not a dirty word, and if I was able to laugh I would have. Here was a Skyhooks song from the 70s here to greet me as I reassembled my atoms back into a human body. I laid back on the desert floor with what I could manage of a smile.
I eventually grounded into my body and got myself comfortable on the desert floor and drifted into dreamland which did not seem far away. In that space that some would call a dream, where there is not the resistance of the mind, I was in a “Shaman School”. There were students practicing ancient mudras at the instruction of the Shaman. He would say a number and the students would move their hands and body into these ancient Power positions that create energy in the body. Everyone except me and a few others that came from another school, performed these sacred mudras perfectly and I attempted to copy them knowing that I hadn’t been taught to this level. I was hoping I wouldn’t be noticed that I was not trained this deeply. After the class an elderly white woman came over to me and said in a slightly angry tone “what are you doing here, you are not trained, you do not deserve to be here” I humbly bowed. Just after that I felt the spirit of a older native man walk past were I lay on the desert floor and just look at me without judgement.
I woke moments later to a golden light on the horizon knowing this was not just a dream.
Mexican Story Continued. 11th sep. Testimonial 10 +11.
Toad, Whales and Dolphins
I arrived in Mexico City with the Guardians of Light delivering me to a small group that are working deeply with the Toad medicine. My host rang up 2 others and we travelled the next day to a small secluded forested area on the outskirts of the city. I flicked my arms and legs to release energy and hugged a tree for a while to ground and prey. Power symbols were played around the circle of trees which was to be our alter. All 3 were practitioners so I knew I was in good hands. They had carefully measured the exact doses to take me over and through the threshold. When fresh I like to stand to receive, there is something about starting off grounded with feet firmly planted in the Earth.
It wasn’t long though till i was on all fours then my back in full surrender to the energy pulsing through me. As it was a few days ago now this happened the memory of the out of body first 5 minutes has dissolved back into the mystery. What remains is when I started to come back into my body. Again the shock of having a body and then trying to contemplate and understand what had happened with my egoic mind. Deep breathing and the practitioner rattling me back a little and supporting me to move energy in my body. Again I felt a combined blockage of energy that was wanting to be pushed out by the toad energy. On to all fours coughing and spitting. I can feel a deep energy in my stomach wanting to be released. A collective karmic soup trapped through time in my being looking for a way out. My practitioners could feel this energy and gently pushed my head down onto the forest floor so i was laying flat, face down and grabbed my legs and wobbled to help me release. Loud groans, spitting, purging and releasing. I eventually stood up with arms out. Dolphin and Whale energy started coming through strongly. I could feel how humanity had drifted away from there harmonic relationship with these cetaceans and some where treating them with the utmost disrespect. Killing and also capturing these highly intelligent sentient beings putting them in cages for human entertainment. I felt there grief and humanities loss that we have drifted from right relations with our ocean brethren. I screamed and cried the deepest pain I have ever felt for another being. I couldn’t speak I just held my whale necklace out, wailing. I finally managed to get the words out ‘No More’ as if setting an affirmation into the group consciousness of humanity. And like JC on the cross dropped into a space of deep forgiveness for humanity for they know not what they do.
(I didn’t know it at the time but at around the very same time I was experience this intense journey a pod of dolphins were being hunting in to the dreaded Taaji cove in Japan to capture them for a life of slavery. They fought hard against the banging boats for 2 hours and managed to escape. Also on that very day Japanese whaling fleet set off into the north pacific to kill minke whales.)
With the help of my very competent Practitioners I was guided back. Ritual completed I was handed a rattle and we did a little jig around the woods shaking the rattle and grounding.
After grounding a little and also amazed that the Practitioners hadn’t actually smoked any sacrament they set up the space to do a group session. I have done this before yet only with small amounts of sacrament. I knew we were all going to take a threshold dose so we would all be fully in there together. We all had our pipe loaded and we lit up around the circle with the one lighter. I was 3rd in line and could see the toad taking effect on the 2 before me as I inhaled. Boooooom back into the crystal castle. I had released so much energy last session that I just flopped like a rag doll onto the forest floor where i didn’t move for maybe 10 minutes. I don’t remember a lot from this journey just a total surrender to that reality and a deep connect to the forest surroundings and my astronaut brothers.
I eventually staggered out from this forest portal surrounded by 26 million people and feeling deep gratitude for this medicine coming at this time and feeling that this work that we are doing IS having an effect on a level Im still understanding.
Mexican Story continued. Testimonials 12+13.
Temple of the Sun and Quetzalcoatl.
Id visited the Teotihuacan temples 18 year earlier when shooting ‘Shamans of the Amazon” yet the Temple of the Sun and Quetzalcoatl Temple had new meaning to me now. I could not come to Mexico City and not experience them, especially now that I had a time machine in my bag.
We arrived early to miss the crowds and walk to the top of the Temple of the Sun, pyramid. For a bit of privacy we walked one level down where there was a flat walkway. The side we were on directly faced the rising sun. It was about 10 am. My intention was to connect deeply with the sun and learn it secrets. I felt to take of my shirt and let the sun soak into my skin. The practitioner lit the pipe for me yet there didn’t seem much smoke. I took in what was there and waited for the effect. I could feel myself vibrating and could feel the sun starting to enter me. I could feel it was a smaller, less than threshold dose, so I asked for more. Another pipe was quickly loaded and lit. This time I flew. I laid back on the pyramid with my head facing directly into the sun. There was I bit of cloud cover so I was able to look directly into the sun for a couple of minutes just seeing the perfect round shape. I could feel the Suns rays as more than just heat or light. I felt energy coming from he sun. It was like Toad was a decoder or translater. The sun was now sharing frequencies or better described, I was now able to decode the light frequencies that were hitting my body and entering my eyes. The frequencies felt fresh and new like the air after a storm full of life force. I could feel it activating my heart. I could feel that the Teotihuacan people knew how to absorb and read these frequencies and they had a personal relationship with these frequencies and the source of them, the Sun. I could feel how they honoured this energy rather than fearing it like most on Earth do now, worried it will give them skin cancer and kill them. I felt, that naturally, we were all sun worshippers, yet we have forgot the reason why, then we were told it is bad for us and our relationship with the sun has changed. Even though doctors are now saying it is essential we get sun on our skin to stay healthy. Also Christian influence said sun worshiping was the work of the devil and the sun worshiping cultures such as the Incas, Mayans and many central and south american sun worshipping cultures were either slaughter or told to convert to their God and their forms of worship.
We did the ceremony next to a locked gate that entered a small chamber at the top of the pyramid. I could feel the worship and ceremonies that had happened there over 1000 years before. I have described having Toad flakes, a burner and a pipe in you bag as having a time machine in your bag and it has so been like that over my time in Mexico. With Toad I have been able to feel the energies, the people and the ceremonies that were present 100s or even 1000s of years prior. Do we enter a space where time as we know it doesn’t exist or do we become super tuned into various forms of energy from other dimensions, or are we just tripping and everything is an illusion? As a scientist at heart and wanting hard evidence for proof I am forced to question everything, yet the deeper I dive into Toad the more I am realising E doesn’t always = mc²
I felt content with my experience and new relationship to the Sun. I remember saying to the camera after, we need to honour and learn from these Sun worshipping cultures and not ridicule them or put them down as savages. I did feel though that they got it wrong as far as sacrifice goes. The sacrifice can be done through a total opening of the heart, not with a blade though, just through surrender and intent. I have felt this many times on Toad and feel the human sacrifices often to the sun were a corruption of power amongst the priest. Similar to what we have today. I walked around and down the temple of the Sun which has a base measurement about the same as the great Giza pyramid in Egypt. We explored the temple of the moon in a slightly altered space and when standing on the big central alter I could feel the people and ceremonies that had been done there around 2000 years before.
My guide and practitioner knew the frequencies of the temple of Quetzalcoatl would be a great place to inter-dimensionally travel so we walked the hot 2 km walk along the Corridor of the Dead to this amazing temple. As soon as I saw it I could feel its energy yet when I lit up a pipe directly opposite one of the feathered serpent carved heads I was thrown into the dimension where the energy of these sculptures had a real power and presence. How can a sculpture have power, I even ask myself, yet looking into the eyes of this thing, it was communicating with me. How can a piece of carved rock do that? I dont know, but it did. It was like we were communicating through this timeless portal, it wanted me to feel its energy and I did. Sometimes I question my own sanity or wonder if I am just tripping, when Im feeling and remembering things that happen during a toad session. People who have had toad will know what I mean, Yet I continue to believe that what is being presented is real, it is just not what we are used to believing. And each individual gets presented just what they are looking for, not that they even knew that they were looking for that.
So more deep surrender. I wanted to just pull open my chest and expose my heart to this energy and i could understand why some priest felt it was about sacrifice, yet I felt it was more about opening and surrendering to heart energy. Maybe thats why I want to connect deeply with the Sun as its like our heart is a mini Sun that feels and expresses love and the Sun is like a big heart that also has the capacity to express the frequency of love. How can the sun express love you ask. So do I. Im just working this out as I go. Its about the frequency and how we decode it. Toad is a decoder and we can develop a personal relationship with the sun. Toad allows us to fine tune our heart to the frequency of unconditional love this same raw frequency that the sun can provide. Another reason why I have been so into the Whales and want to bring them into the film. They naturally express and live in unconditional love. They know how to decode these cosmic frequencies and they share that unconditional love energy with the humans.
Back to the journey. One of the practitioners had mentioned Jim Morrison had been to this exact site in the late 60s. Well guess what, while I was flying on Toad here, I could feel Jim’s energy. It was more than a thin veil between worlds there was no veil. I could feel the presence of those who had walked this temple and the intentions of those who performed rituals here 2000 years before. My Mexican Practitioner said Quetzalcoatl lived around 100 years after Jesus died and he and many believe he was a reincarnation of Jesus. “Quetzalcoatl was a deity all over the pre-hispanic world, known as Quetzalcoatl by the Aztecs and Toltec who is believed, introduced it to the Mayans. Also know as the “Feathered Serpent” The snake was a Maya symbol of rebirth due to its habit of shedding its skin to reveal a fresher one underneath. The feathers signifying the sky or celestial realms, thus combined the celestial characteristics with the underworld powers of the snake, giving him power over all levels of the Maya universe”
Many believe he like Jesus is heading for a second coming. We are still in the frequency of 2012 and maybe its not a physical second coming but the frequency of Quetzalcoatl or Jesus that is coming. Is Toad allowing some people to decode these frequencies that can then spread it into the group consciousness of humanity to manifest a new reality here on Earth at this time. Ill leave it there.
Mexican Story continued Sep 17th. Written next day. Testimonials 14+15+16
Chichen Itza, Kukulcan
30 seconds after having my first pipe of the sacred Toad sacrament 18 months ago I had a vision of me standing on top of a Mayan stone pyramid temple sharing the sacrament with others including a Mayan Shaman. I also had the feeling that we had participated in the Toad ceremony in another life time at that same place. I later discovered this temple to be Kukulcan from the Chitchen Itza complex. This vision sent me on a quest contacting Mayan Shamans and ultimately to Mexico to the mind blowing experience on top of Kukulcan last night with just me and the medicine during a full moon eclipse. OK the stage is set.
I had an amazing day exploring the ruins and temples and feeling into the Mayans reality. The Mayan calendar now seems more practiced and known about in Byron Bay, Australia then in Yucatan. This sacred knowledge seems stored more in the sacred temples and in the Akashic records then the classrooms in Mexico.
It was these records I wanted to access and with my little inter dimensional Time Machine in my bag now felt like the time. Rules and borderers never felt designed for me so when the opportunity arrived I jumped the rope boundary and entered what appeared to be a ceremonial temple with carved hieroglyphs, with tall internal arches and a dirt floor. Away from prying eyes I did my prayers, loaded a medium pipe and dived in to see what I may find. Straight away I felt a welcoming and a connection through time, and without time being a boundary. The energy was always there, it just needed the right receiver to pick up on the frequencies. I felt this was just a small taste of what was to come if everything lined up and I was to fulfil my vision of slipping through time on top of Kukulcan.
On most nights, the Chitchen Itza complex puts on a Mayan light show extravaganza. I wasn’t sure if everything would line up but just in case it did I put my sleeping bag in my daypack. I said a little prayer to the divine that if it is my destiny, I am ready. There were quite a few guards around and the area was well lit and I started to doubt if this was going to be possible. About 5 minutes into the extravaganza all the projection lights and sound just stopped. Something blew. This had never happened before in the many years of this night time event. In the following confusion I thought, OK this is my opportunity and I quietly stepped over the fence and slipped into the shadows. I laid there quietly for about an hour till most of the people had left and then did a big circle around the complex to arrive at the eastern side of the Pyramid. The full moon was now well in the sky and the Chitchen Itza stone complex had a greyish glow in the bright moonlight. I touched my head on the first step and prayed to the Ancestors of this land and asked for permission to climb this sacred temple. Each of the 4 staircases to the top had 91 stairs totalling 364 and one for the top is the 365 days of the years. I wont go into details the Mayan calendar here except to say they where Time Lords. I was intrigued to know, did our little Toad friends contribute to their deep knowledge of the Universe and their mastery of the dimensions of time.
The view from the top was extraordinary. Looking over the moon lit complex and over the rainforest canopy to the horizon in 360 degrees. I could feel my frustration as a filmmaker not being able to capture with my cameras the view and the feeling in this low level of light. At least I was able to set the camera to infra red and film close up hieroglyphs and record the ceremony. I walked around to the larger front platform and immediately I was greeted by the croaking of a frog or Toad. I had a little chuckle and took this as a welcome sign.
I lit up the remains of the last pipe as a soft entry into what I knew was going to be a Full Monty night. Again a feeling of welcoming and connecting with the energy of the complex and the rising full moon. I couldn’t wait for the effects of this pipe to ware off and I was quickly loading up a big pipe eager to enter this reality with the right amount of medicine. I could feel there was some serious work to do.
I felt confident and safe with the medicine that I wasn’t going to step of the edge of the platform and bounce down the 91 steep stairs as probably many have done before, if only as a head. I did a prayer for the departed who may have left their body in this dramatic way and suggested if this was an opportunity for them to find peace and head to the light a portal will be opening soon. I also prayed to all my guides and the Gatekeepers to support me on this extraordinary quest and journey.
I took a full threshold dose and soon there was no I. I was flying through this timeless zone. The Cloud Atlas of my souls journey was revealed to me, The great mystery was revelled. I was welcomed into this dimension by the Gatekeepers of the Light at the speed of light, beyond time. As if a worm hole had opened and I was just falling through space in total surrender with a heart that knew no bounds. Deeper, deeper then there was just complete oneness, no separation from anything including source. I knew the meaning of “we are all one”. Not from an intellectual position but from feeling it with every part of my being.
I felt a connection through time with the Mayan Spiritual Practitioners. They were happy this portal had been opened again. It was a bit like a genie coming out of a bottle after being locked up a long long time, waiting for just the right hand to give the bottle a good rub. Although Im confident people have participated in Toad ceremonies in Chitchen Itza in its recent resurgent history, this ceremony on top of Kukulcan with this specific planetary alignment and with this specific intention, I felt, was a opening for new energies to enter. The portal was opened just a bit wider like a cosmic foot in the door, I felt this was a one of the many openings and new beginning for a focused cosmic energy to enter the Earth plane. I saw a purple light matrix encircling the blue Earth.
After what must have been around 7 minutes, awareness of I and my body started to return and I lay on the side platform at the top of Kukulcan Temple looking directly into the full moon and remembering who and where I was.
I love that transition period with Toad where you have just been to unimaginable realities then start transitioning back to a body in this timeframe. I look forward to when I can be in that timeless and connected space at will. I guess that is Enlightenment and is within reach of all of us. Yet I see Toad is a teaser taste into this reality and then there is the hard work to get to this space at will, without the sacrament.
Soon I felt it was time to go there again. I looked around a felt, why wouldn’t you. Since coming to Mexico most of my fear and trepidation around doing Toad has left, replaced mainly with excitement. Maybe thats my adventurous spirit or maybe I have just made a sort of peace with the medicine. That said, I know there are still many surprise to come and I approach each journey with deep deep reverence and respect.
Again my prayer to open the portal wide for new energy to enter. There was still loads left in the pipe from my last excited pack so I torched it, took a big lungful and got out of the way. Booooom, spiralling, falling, floating, relaxing, releasing, letting go, surrender, more surrender, still more surrender. I felt Jesus Christ there and other great masters who walked their life on the Earth plane in this awakened state, connected directly to source. I felt my souls journey, the karma Id come into each life with, the people Id made contracts with to help and for them to help me, my son, my daughter, wife, lovers and lovers still to meet, all there in a timeless soup of creation, exposing itself to me in this expanded Toad state. I felt the anguish Id come into this and other lifetime with, that of separation with harmony and Source and all the atrocities humans have been doing to the animal and plant kingdoms. I felt my challenges and my lessons. I was welcomed into this reality of being able to feel all of my souls journey and I could relax a little into that welcoming. I felt not to attach to outcomes just to feel the journey, stay open, love, pray, surrender. Deeper, deeper I dropped. Its nearly like I heard a voice yet it was more like a feeling as I was welcomed in and home. Finally I was experiencing this reality. I have journeyed strongly with Plant medicines over the last 45 years yet this level of initiation into this reality was beyond even what I thought was possible. The Guardians of Light were present giving me confidence to let go of EVERYTHING. A saying from Jesus comes to mind. “Its easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle that a rich man to go to heaven.” Now I understand that statement. To fly, to transcend we need to be unattached to everything.
There was a feeling of being here right now, with this medicine opening portals, was perfect and its like the Gatekeepers gave me that vision 18 month ago to bring me here to do this work. I had just been putting one foot in front of the other to get here, surrendering loads along the way. Now it was all happening.
Without asking the big question Id had in my head about whether the Mayans used Toad in the past, the experience of total oneness had more than answered my question. There was a recognition that now I had joined the Maya in there cosmic connection to the universe any doubt about who, when, what, just disappeared. The Maya and many ancient cultures have been the keepers of this knowledge in their mystery schools and amongst the shamans throughout and beyond time. They have been holding this information in their bloodline and in the Akashic records for a time when it can be used to bring the Earth back into balance. Now is that time and Toad magic is spreading fast. We now have the tools and the ability to reinvent ourselves as a species, right the wrongs and bring it all back to harmony, balance and Love.
The reality of the deep space we sometimes go on Toad many will testify is beyond words, so my challenge is to try. Parables are the easiest way to attempt description. It is like there are various depth to this experience which is only limited by your preparedness to surrender and the amount of Toad venom you smoke. The depth of your experience also seems to depend on where you left of last time and how deep you where prepared to surrender. It almost like the more you are capable or willing to surrender the deeper you are allowed to go and then you are ready of the next level and on it goes.
The transition period between worlds this time seemed to go for a long time. I became aware of my hands and my feet first, then the stars and a pain in my back. As I moved I felt the pain was somehow related to healing the masculine and feminine on the Earth plane and that I needed to completely address anything that was out of alinement in my life and this would in turn help bring about a balance in the wider community. The image of the intertwining snakes of some Mayan carving I had seen earlier came back into my mind. This harmony between the masculine and feminine is drastically out of balance and this is having a major effect on life on Earth and even beyond our Earth plane.
Eventually I felt to stand up and anchor this energy into the pyramid and the Earth. I stood on the edge of the platform above the 91 stairs. I could see the carved feathered serpent heads of Quetzalcoatl at the bottom of the staircase on either side. As I held my arms to the sky and opened my chest the shadow fell perfectly down the stairs, as I leaned back the full moon was exactly behind me just above the top of the stone roof. The symmetry was perfect and could not have been better orchestrated and didn’t go unnoticed. Yet the perfect star filled night on this full moon eclipse, including the timetable to get here was done without thought or planing, just surrender.
Summary of the Mexican Trip 27th Sep
Back at 36,000 feet on my way back to the land of Oz after what can only be described as a life changing 5 weeks in Mexico. I have written up around 18 Testimonials of most of the Journeys I have experienced here with the Toad Medicine, so I wont go over them here, this is like a summary and a few thoughts of the overall journey.
Having delved into the plant medicine world quite strongly over the last 40 years, including Ayahuasca, DMT, Salvia. San Pedro, Mushrooms etc, I thought Id experienced the major paradigm shifters. How wrong I was. The dimensions and experience revealed on this medicine from the humble Bufo Alvarius Toad was beyond even what I thought was possible to imagine let alone experience. You cant even measure it on a scale.
In attempting to measure the profound nature of a deep immersion into Toad reality I could only compare it to the most radical comparisons I could imagine, like, seeing the world after being blind for 50 years, experiencing orgasmic love making with the woman/man of your dreams for the first time at 50, landing on another planet and meeting an alien race, living in the desert all your life then seeing the ocean and scuba diving in the Great Barrier Reef, swimming with a Whale and looking into its eye, meeting God. You get the idea. It is beyond the beyond yet there is a deep feeling of truth and coming home there.
When I first experienced Toad medicine around 18 months ago with Octavio Rettig, it was so intense and so ego shattering I was fearful to return. Eventually around 12 months later with some friends that were in a similar space, we worked up the courage to enter the Toad realm again. At that time I also decided to make a documentary about my journey with the Toad.
So now after around 20 Toad journeys in the land of Toad and meeting the Toad face to face, I dont have that level of fear around Toad anymore, its more a deep level of reverence and respect I now feel. I have also learned about the delicate survival situation the Toad is now in. It faces being loved to death and a responsibility now rests with the users of Toad to fined and implement a sustainable process with Toad medicine use. Money is coming into the equation and there are various complicated dynamics, sometimes of them dangerous, playing out in the Sonora desert amongst, Mafia, Indigenous people, Toad medicine collecting teams, Toad lovers, Police and Mexicans. The Sonora desert is definitely not a place where you can just go and find some Toads and get some medicine. In the two weeks I was there I got pulled over by Gun wielding Mafia/Narco Drug Traffickers and just a kind twist of fate meant I didn’t get robbed or worse. The weeks before I heard one woman from the USA on a Toad mission was kidnapped at gunpoint for a few days and fortunately released relatively unharmed. 2 Years earlier two Australians were killed and their car set alight by the Mafia in this dangerous Northern Mexico region, the area controlled and constantly watched by the drug smuggling Mafia and their informants.
So other solutions need to be found rather than free for all Toading, which is also effecting the Toad population. I have written a report of what I have seen, heard and experienced here and there are people actively involved in finding solutions. These ideas can be elaborated on in due coarse. In the meantime I have been exploring locations, Practitioners, Structures and venues for different styles and layers of Toad Initiations and retreats here in Mexico which I will elaborate about in due coarse.
I have found working with the ancient Mayan and Indigenous Temples/Ruins gives yet another level of work that is possible within the Toad Dimension. I have also been talking with different Practitioners about not only integrating the Toad experience but using other practices and processes that work with the shredded ego to determine the best way to evolve and operate in this current reality. With Toad being legal in Mexico, this offers a safe and supportive environment to experience the Toad. Karmically experiencing the Toad in Mexico also gives the opportunity to give back to the Mexican economy and country, which may intern support its future unfolding here. There has even be talk of working with the Mexican Government to get permissions to do ceremonies at the ancient sacred Mayan Temples. Magic is happening.
I have met and journeyed with many different Mexican and Indigenous Practitioners and had a wide variety of experiences with a diverse group of Practitioners, including some wild solo rides. I have seen that there are Practitioners and there are Master Practitioners each with something different that they bring in. Most of the journeys I have been on have been interactive with the Practitioner and I usually starting the ceremony standing up. The Master Practitioner has the ability to work with you and your karmic energy while the both of you are in this reality, creating the opportunity for massive karmic cleansing to occur on a personal and global level. Often I have felt that the releasing of the blockage that I would spit or purge out was a collective blockage that was able to be released in this way with this medicine.
This can also involve the cleansing of negative spirits that have either attached to you or you may have made a contract with at some point in your lifetimes. Toad and a Master Practitioner can work in there, in this timeless zone. It is still a great mystery yet I have seen it happening and felt the possibilities. I feel great and rapid healing can now occur that has been mainly inaccessible till now. This also provides great opportunities for humanity as we are released from life limiting patterns. We also have the opportunity with this medicine to fine tune our personal cosmic receiver and download solar and galactic frequencies that can aid in our own evolution and that of the Planet.
Now, when I prepare for a session, I have a clearer image of who I am directing the prayer to. I call them the Gate Keepers, or the Guardians of the Light. When I showed my earlier Documentary “Shamans of the Amazon” to some new friends here, I recalled a legend from the Amazon that says, God created these beings to be intermediaries between God and Man and gave Man the 5 -Meo- DMT in their snuff rituals to access these realms. I understood this legend during and earlier session in Seri Territory and feel them most times i go in now. Another name I give them is the Ancestors and they live beyond the confines of time. There seems to be different levels of Ancestors.
Ive been brainstorming with a friend about what is possible with this medicine and we both agree that anything is possible. We have been talking about organising a global unified intentional Toad ceremonies at sacred sites during a solar eqlipse. I believe there lies a potential for a mass awakenings of humanity using this Toad medicine. And not that evey one needs to go there. All thats needed in some aqua pressure points and grid of light creating a sacred geometry matrix around the planet. I saw this image once in Toad world. It was purple with the world inside.
I feel anything is possible with this medicine and this could be the magic bullet that drags humanity (and a lot of other species) back from the brink of oblivion. My favourite quote these days is from Terence McKenna, “Something could jump out from some unexplained dimension and change everything”
I went into this session with an intention to feel the metaphysical reality of the natural kingdom and bring that connection back to this reality. I visually prepared 2 doses of Toad sacrament that were around 20 and 30 mg. I found a nice secluded space in a forest near the ocean. After setting the scene, I lit the first pipe and dived straight in. The familiar innefable reality over took me. I felt a deep connection with all of nature. As I came back into my body and opened my eyes, a leaf in a spiders web dance in the wind in front of my face reminding me of the thin thread connecting realities. Some leaves in the neighboring trees waved in the breeze as if communicating to me in there 3d way. I could feel a call to ground this experience into my 3 d reality and also to go again, deeper.
I grounded for a couple of minutes then said my prayers then lit up a bigger pipe. While still inhaling, the medicine started to come on, so I quickly put the pipe down and disappeared down the rabbit hole. Feelings of connecting with other beings and souls in this dimension, a meeting place. I could feel a vibration which I felt was the vibration of life where everything resided. Where God is. I could feel Danny in this vibration doing work and felt why he left this physical realm. I felt Rak and Octavio doing their work in both realms. At around 7 mins in, I could feel whale energy. I felt I could channel what that were sharing without coming back to my body mind 3 d reality. This is what came through, transcribed from the video. “When the whales strand they are wanting to leave their bodies and humans, well meaning, come along to rescue the stranded whale or whales because we have an attachment to death. The whales do not have that attachment. They are connected to source all the time as we are and we are being invited to come back to source to remember who we are and where we came from, this is our quest for the holly grail, is to rediscover the sacredness of all life that we are all on together. Its all love and choosing love, consciously, choosing love. Gracias gracias gracias gracias gracias gracias”
In that moment I touched the earth then held my hand upwards and cried with gratitude that I was feeling the love of creation pouring through me. An all consuming love of a creating force that was expressed in all of nature that was showing itself to me. I was grateful to feel that ever compassionate and loving force and know that I was apart of it. In that moment there felt no separation just gratitude for being. The leaves waved and the leaf on the spiders web danced, the sun shone through the leaves creating a toroidal shape of rainbow colours. I laid back on the forest floor for another 2 hours. I relived and live the experiences and feelings Id had. Bringing back what I could into this 3 d world.
I padded my kayak back towards Migaloo 2, stopping on the way to swim, dive and recalibrate in the crystal clear ocean waters and the setting sun.
My first experience with the pure molecule “synthetic” Feb 2019
I started standing, facing the sun, arms up and connecting directly, holding a prayer for whatever energy was needed, to wash down on the planet. I asked others to hold a clear non judgemental container so we could all hold a strong vessel for whatever wanted to come down and through for the purpose of healing.
As I exhaled, my vision pixilated and within seconds I was gone to the dimension where memory has no foot hold. Sensations of being beyond time and space seemed to fill the void. As I returned from this ineffable dimension I began resembling the memory of who ‘I’ was.
In the days leading up to this immersion I had been dealing with safety issues related to Octavios practice and there had been much intense conversations and energy flowing around the Toad community in relation to this issue.
I struggled to get to my feet and anchor, something I tend to do after most sessions, to bring my experience back into my 3d world. This time I could feel a huge knot or block in my belly as I worked my way vertical over the next few minutes. I spat, growled and burped as if releasing a collective energy that was existing in the astral. It felt like a heavy weight was holding me down that I had to push hard against. When I eventually made it to my feet I held my arms up facing the sun. I let go and felt the energy of the sun flowing into and through me into the earth.
I was aware of others around me yet avoided eye contact to stay present with the energy expressing itself through me. This deep releasing went on for about 15 minutes, staggering around, spitting, growling and burping. It was like a bucket of dirty water was being emptied and a clear container being created for pure water to flow into.
I pushed deep into my belly with my fingers to release deep energy blockages that felt like where not just mine but somehow connected to a global energy field that was looking for expression. It felt like I was being asked to release this energy out of me and out of the collective consciousness to allow something new to flow into its place. There may also have been personal densities and blockages in my body that needed clearing to receive this high vibration that was pulsing through me.
A friend eventually came over and said ground yourself into the earth. I imagined my feet becoming roots and sinking them deep into the earth. This helped my repatterining and returning as I felt I had done all I could with the releasing process. I collapsed exhausted onto the earth. I was asked by the facilitator if there was anything that can best assist me in this moment. I said water and signalled to my friend who was on stand bye with a large bottle of pure water.
I poured the whole 2 litre bottle of water over myself and rubbed the water over my body. Whale energy then appeared and seemed to speak to and through me. My mind/ego was reassembling. I checked in with myself then let go as I spoke as if the whales were speaking. “When will humanity wake up and realise what we do to the waters we do to ourselves.” I felt again the suffering of the water creatures and the pollution we humans were dumping in the oceans. I cried and screamed as if releasing something from a shared human separation thought pattern.
I staggered to the alter mandala and pulled out a piece of plastic that a friend had put on the alter to allow humanity to have awareness of our relationship with plastic and its effect. I blew it into the air as if anchoring, creating and allowing for humanities new relationship and awareness of plastic.
I turned my gaze upwards to the sun feeling its rays penetrating deep into me and the surrounding area. I called a friend to tone and I danced around the grassed area like a pixy as the sun shone its magical rays down upon us.
Eventually, maybe 45 mins after inhaling, I danced over to another area away from the circle. I got naked and laid on my back staring into the sun that was covered by a thin layer of cloud. I remembered when this had happened during other ceremonies and felt the sun and the clouds were collaborating in my ceremony so I could look directly into the sun and receive its fine frequencies. I felt sun worshippers through time and their connection with the sun. Gracias Gracias Gracias……..
Toad session with a master sound healer
Most ceremonies I have done, have been simply with the natural background sounds so when a holder of the toad was visiting who was also a master sound healer I felt I had to experience the combination.
I usually start standing up facing the sun as a way of connecting to the elements and grounding the experience yet I agreed to the guidance to start the journey laying down, surrendering from the beginning.
I am writing this testimonial the day after the ceremony. Memory is aided by watching a video of the event which I find helps me to remember events on the other side and to get the most out of the experience.
I said my prayers and focused an intention in my mind. I took a large inhale of the magic smoke and just let go.
The facilitator used various instruments throughout the 45 min journey starting with the soft drumming on a medicine drum. That drifted into sounds from a shruti box accompanied by high vibrational Sanskrit chanting. This high vibrational chanting seemed to be guiding and holding me safely and securely in this toad space. It was a bit like riding a flying carpet down the cosmic big dipper ride with a seat belt on so you wouldn’t fly off and hurt yourself. I felt held and supported in this sound bath to let go further into trust. The facilitator intuitively could feel where I was at and would choose an instrument that assisted my journey deeper into the layers of my past karmic story to allow healing to occur. Never did the music feel intrusive.
I continued to surrender and let go down this cosmic slippery dip with focused sound vibration as my lubricant. In this space I felt a huge responsibility to face darkness in all its forms. At around 9 minutes in I had an urge to stand like a warrior and ground all this energy into myself and the earth. I was gently encouraged to lay back down and just receive and surrender. So I did.
The responsibility to face the darkness on a personal, global and shamanic level felt like a huge burden I have been carrying. I felt other Toad facilitators and collectors in this zone and felt that we have had lives before and we are coming back now to resolve issues, bring this medicine in smoothly and assist humanities journey towards the light. I could feel the challenge to stay in complete truth and fearlessness within this process.
Instruments changed to crystal bowls, flute, singing and then chimes as I navigated through past lives, karmic stories and personal contracts. These softer instruments seemed to allow me to access the softer more vulnerable child within. As I continued to surrender and let go, I could feel the weight of my burden slowly lifting from my shoulders and heart. Screams and tears flowed as I acknowledge the weight this child and person has been carrying through lifetimes. The heavy burden seemed to transform to a softer form of responsibility.
I felt the spirit of recently departed brothers working from this other side. I felt them deeply connected to nature and oceanic energy.
I felt the separation some humans have with the dolphins, whales and nature. I felt the dolphins being herded into the killing cove in Japan. I could see the empty souls of the killers and the separation that allowed that to happen. I could feel the humans caught I n this separation energy ignorantly supporting this cetacean killing and slavery by going to Sea world and other dolphinariums. I cried my deep felt apologies into this toad zone and to the dolphins and whales, trusting this would help heal the schism, the separation and assist bringing humans back into balance with nature.
About 40 mins in and still very much in the zone I was anointed with a fragrant oil and feathered down. I laid there quietly listening to the sounds of the birds chanting their merry song to me. I felt how animal communication is possible as I felt a clear channel of life force flowing unhindered through me. No mind, just pure heart connection to all that is.
I staggered outside and laid on the earth to ground the experience while the facilitator closed the direction and thanked all the energies for being present. I then walked through the rainforest and had an invigorating and grounding swim in the creek. I sat on a mossy rock tuned into my breath closed my eyes and felt deeply rooted and connected to all of existence. This is such a precious experience, do yourself a favour, research your facilitator. Experience, skill, intuition and being a clear channel matters. Gracias gracias gracias ???????❤️